Controlling Everything vs. Nothing
I had an unavoidable SOS stop...
That's right, the shunned Secretary of State to renew my
plates and drivers licence...
No 'renew by mail' for me this year, nope. I had to head on
down for an eye test, new picture and to hook up one of those fancy new REAL ID
licenses.
So I rounded up the proper documentation and went
downtown...
Luckily the line went fast (only about 45 min)
SIDE NOTE:
Good thing the pics are digital now!
Remember when you had your picture taken and didn't know how
bad it was until you received your licence in the mail a few weeks later!?
Yikes!!
'Modern Technology' does have a few advantages! =)
It Made Me Think...
Being at both the doctor and the SOS it made me think of
some of the things that we CAN'T CONTROL...
Then I thought about politics, weather people and (you
guessed it) CONFLICT.
So, here's the question..
What's Better?!
- Believing You Can Control EVERYTHING?
- ...Or Believing You Can Control NOTHING?
We can fall into either mentality without even knowing it, so...don't think of it as a blanket statement.
When we begin thinking like this we tend to be either:
Gung Ho...
Or...
Gun Shy!
Gung Ho can lead to bullying and thinking too much about
control.
Gun Shy can lead to passive aggressive behavior & being
taken advantage of by thinking you don't have any control or being afraid to
assert yourself.
If you haven't guessed, you should strive to...
Strike a Balance...
Gung Ho & Gun Shy folks tend to end up in POWER STUGGLES...
And...
Power Struggles lead to CONFLICT!!
You have to learn to...
Pick Your Battles!
But in order to Pick Your Battles, you have to be CLEAR!!
Without Clarity it's easy to fall down a slippery slope
leading to more conflict and violence!
What do you need to be clear on?!
Well, when it comes to Managing Conflict...
3 Questions to Ask Yourself...
1) Does this situation NEED to be managed? Is this really
your fight??
2) What are you REALLY trying to protect? What outcome are
you looking for?
3) What is the worse
case scenario if you ignore it or don't intervene?
By answering those three questions you will get a clearer
idea whether or not you need to step in or step up... or ignore it and 'walk
away.'
Never forget Viktor Frankl's quote:
"Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms: to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."
Strike the balance between...
- What you Can & Can't Control...
- What you Should & Shouldn't Control...
- When to Try Harder & When to Let Go!
I know, easier said than done!
Remember, it's less about a single technique as it is...
Build a Protector's Lifestyle...
Being a PeaceWalker is a path we follow, not a destination
we reach!
Keep Going,
~Craig
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