Heartbreaking Seeing Her Fight Back the Tears...
Two of the 'Nuggets' & me playing on the trampoline a few years back
Lia on top, Ella squished in the middle & yours truly on bottom.
When I was off on my run, I was thinking about something that happened to me a few weeks ago...
My significant other's daughter was being bullied at school and it was really upsetting her.
You see, I don't have any kids of my own, but as mentioned, my significant other does. Over the years, her four girls have become like my own. So, when they hurt, so do, and when someone tries to harm them, that person will have to deal with me and my wrath.
Luckily, I have learned to control my emotions and focus them in a more healthy, productive and often more peaceful ways. This has saved me countless times from regrets, ranging from simply making a fool of myself, to keeping me out of jail from a homicide, assault or excessive force charges. (I'm only half kidding...=)
Any of you parents out there know exactly what I'm talking about.
So, when your daughter comes to you and is fighting back the tears because of some bigger kid (she's 11) is pushing her around and demeaning her, you have to very consciously dial things back and check your emotions, to not want to kill someone!
It was breaking my heart listening to her fight back the tears as she told me her story of this kid picking on and hurting her at school.
Sometimes she spoke barley above a whisper as she was working through her emotions that recounting the story brought on.
I knew exactly how she was feeling, because I had felt the same way when I was her age. My brother would hurt me, sometimes to the point of an emergency room visit.
There's a lot of feelings that go on in these situations. Obviously, there's the physical hurt of getting pushed around or beat up. But, there's so much more than that.
You wonder why would someone do this? And why do they do this to ME?
But the emotions and thoughts don't stop there...
The humiliation and self blame start too...
It was this that really broke my heart to listen to little Lia, as she recounted her story.
"I know, I shouldn't let someone do that," she said, "It's my fault..." She trailed off.
When she said that, it was all I could do to keep the tears inside of me from welling up.
I personally know what that feels like. So, I knew exactly how she was feeling... and all of the potential baggage that comes with it...
Humiliation, shame, regret...
Have YOU ever felt that way?
Have you ever seen your kid or someone you love feel that way?
It doesn't feel good does it?
Those feelings can develop into some bad habits that we pick up early in Life, unless we learn how to deal with them.
This is easier if you learn to have the proper skill and have good support.
Give a Person a Fish...
After comforting and encouraging Lia that it was alright and to finish her story. I told her that feeling the way she felt was alright. We feel what we feel. Feel it completely, then let it go.
I told her that it wasn't her fault for what that kid did to her...
That other girl would have to own her own behavior.
Then I asked her, what she might do the next time this happens.
How will she respond to this bigger, stronger, more aggressive girl who was emotionally and physically throwing her weight around?
How is she going to handle it?
Yes, yes, of course talk to the teacher about things, that's not a bad idea either, but there's more to it than that.
"I don't know." She said looking down lip quivering.
I'm telling you right now, seeing that confusion, frustration and pain on that little girls face is enough to make a grown man cry.
So, do you know what I did?
I took about 10 minutes to teach her how to stand and move. I showed her to stand up for herself and to feel more safe. More confident. I taught her how to use a commanding voice to set clear boundaries. I shared a simple step by step plan on what to do if the girl didn't stop. Verbally, physically.
I taught her the same methods I've taught thousands of people over the past several decades. The same skills that I teach in PeaceWalker Basic Training. The same skills I'll teach you inside the Private Membership.
I just abbreviated and taught it 'kid style.'
I really wish you could've seen the look on her sweet little face. Her dried tears, now beaming and laughing, as we connected.
She and I shared a moment.
I asked her if she felt more or less confident in herself.
"More confident". she said looking right at me this time.
I assured her that she could come to me, her mother, her (real) dad, or teacher anytime she needed to and that we'd help her take care of things.
I encouraged her to not to feel ashamed or afraid that, we had her back. She wasn't alone in this, but that it was important to learn how to protect herself too.
"It's good to have people help you, but it's good to be able to stand up for yourself too sweetie" I said smiling.
"There will be others who will challenge you. People who might not have your best interests at heart. People who might want to hurt you. But, you can handle anything Life or anyone else throws at you." I assured her.
I told her she did a great job and she was made strong and resilient...
Then I had to explain to her what resilient meant =)
Bullying Doesn't Stop There...
Right!?
You've seen it.
It's happening RIGHT NOW, as we speak!
Individually and institutionally,. In homes and at school. Where we work. On-line and in person in our communities. It's all around us.
You feel it too don't you?
Especially right now, in the middle of everything that's been happening this past year. Some people have turned into bullies. And that conflict isn't only verbal. It's emotional, psychological and yes, even in our adult world physical! It's called aggravated assault and battery.
Well, YOU have a chance to do something about it!
You have the opportunity right now, to get better skills, to learn how to deal with all of it.
How to fear less and Live more!
Better understand what to do in the face of conflict and violence in today's day and age.
Know how to better protect yourself and your loved ones.
It's all a click away...
Well, kind of. That's really just the beginning. Then the real work starts, but it's a labor of love. Not to mention, I did all of the really hard work for you!
After joining the Private PeaceWalker Community, you'll start out with the Six Day Defense Program. There you'll start to learn this simple approach to dealing with conflict inside and around you. The foundation to having it all so to speak.
No, it's not about the money, or stuff. It's about gaining the confidence and clarity inside of yourself.
Believe me when I say, the seeds of this approach is already within you. You just need the right amount of light, garden and care to allow it to grow.
You'll learn...
How to handle being physically, emotionally, verbally attacked.
How to not look like an easy victim.
But way more than that...
How to get back your Life from the jaws of fear and regret.
It's difficult to explain how much more this training is. It's so much more than just a simple self defense course.
Yes, you'll learn how to physically defend yourself (and others). But that's just the start!
It's about Living a Better Life. One as a Protector. A PeaceWalker. Safer, happier, more fulfilled. More clarity and courageousness at a time when we need it most.
It's amazing what only 10 minutes did for Lia's Life, now and in her future!
Just think what you're capable of with the right tools! With the right support!
I'll tell you what I've seen others have done with this knowledge...
So much more than you could ever imagine!
What would it be like to know that you can handle the conflicts you're running into out there. To know that you're better equipped to handle those attacks that you're afraid of... The ones that keep you up at night.
Learn how to better deal with muggings, active shooting events and terrorism, what to do during time of social unrest (like now), how to navigate verbal conflict, how to negotiate better, how to deescalate. How to deal with someone threatening you with a weapon like a knife, gun or baseball bat.
How to see conflict from a different perspective, one that can show you how to solve the problem... If you get out of your own way.
How to train for the long haul. How to Live a Protector's Lifestyle. How to become a PeaceWalker.
Well...
Now's your chance to get the training necessary to Live, Protect and Inspire on a entirely new level.
AND you can begin your journey absolutely FREE... Well, it'll cost you about 10 minutes per day over the next six days.
Click below to access my free Six Day Defense Course. It's my contribution to folks like you and I who want to live safer, more powerful lives.
Don't Miss Your Chance!
Keep going,
~Craig
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