Your Deadliest Weapon?! Really?!

 



Listen Here…

The other day a friend of mine was telling me about some of the problems in life they were having…

I wanted to help, so instead of mindfully listening to them, I proceeded to give advice of what I would do, or what they may consider doing…

Then I caught myself…

“Just Listen,” I said in my mind.

“Breathe and listen… That’s all. Just shut up and listen.”

I quieted my mind and mouth and simply listened to what my friend was saying. Trying my best to be present and- attentive.

Your Deadliest Weapon?!

Back in 1982 a guy named Dr. George Thompson created a tactical communication system for police called Verbal Judo. Over the years it was taught to millions of officers.

You have to understand, before that point, aside from hostage/crisis negotiators, conflict communications and de-escalation was rarely taught to officers.

Thompson's research found that most injuries (police or subject) occur when a situation escalates, not when an officer arrives at the scene.

He said that the most deadly weapon carried by cops is the cop's tongue, and that a single sentence can get you fired, sued, even killed.

Waiting to Interrupt…

I had the opportunity to meet and train with Doc before he passed away back in 2011.

He was a big guy with a big personality. And man, could he tell stories!

I received my Verbal Judo teaching certification through him and then an Advanced Verbal Influence & Defense Instructor Certification with his organization shortly after his passing.

There are a lot of things he taught that stick with me to this day. I’ve shared one of the things about your words being a deadly weapon. Another thing he said that really stuck was about listening.

Doc said,

“Most people aren’t listening, they’re waiting to interrupt.”

It was these words that suddenly came to mind when I was talking to my friend the other day. I realized that I wasn’t listening, I wanted to help so bad, that I was just waiting for a gap in the conversation so I could vomit all of my “good advice” onto my friend.

Listening & Awareness

Listening is a form of awareness. It can give you a lot of data.

But it’s more than that…

Listening also creates a connection, it communicates respect and empathy. It’s a powerful, yet under used tool used in managing conflict and keeping you safe.

When listening, you must communicate and acknowledge that you are present and hearing what the person saying.

This is done in many ways.

Here are a few:

  • Nodding your head

  • Leaning in

  • Saying yes or some other short non-intrusive verbal affirmation that you are engaged & tracking w/them

There’s a saying that God gave us two ears and a mouth for a reason… We should listen more than we talk!

I’ll tell you this much. I get in much less trouble listening than I do talking!

One Last Thing…

Listening isn’t done only with the ears. It’s done with the entire body… Your whole being so to speak. All your senses, including your gut feeling. Remember my story I told you a few emails ago about feeling something was “off” when I entered my apartment? That’s an example of being aware of and listening to more than what comes through my ears.

Listening and tactically speaking, are two more simple skills that are not only under utilized, but under developed.

Just Say This…

I put together a New Mini-Program called “Just Say This.”

It’s a free course on our PeaceWalker Network.

Here’s the link to access this little, yet powerful, (even Life Saving) Mini-Course.

https://peacewalker.mn.co/posts/just-say-this-just-say-this

*If you are already on our Free Network, this link will take you directly to the course. If you are not yet a member, just follow the simple steps to create your network membership, then it will take you straight to the course.

Alright, I got things to do! =)

Catch you later!

Keep Going,

~Craig

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